I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
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