Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Randomize
