I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
