the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
