they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Randomize
