have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Randomize
