There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
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