i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Randomize
