I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
