singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
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