I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
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