dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Randomize
