why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
