they need to just BURY HIM!
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
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