So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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