Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
