Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
