so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
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