Swine flu. Run for my life!
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Randomize
