i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize