Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
