Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Randomize