got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
Randomize