drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
