I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Randomize
