she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Randomize
