Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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