living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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