when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize