Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
