I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Randomize
