you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
And then my night got REAL pukey
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
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