I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
