Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
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