he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
My penis needs a shock collar
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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