"it" just moved
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
