but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
i will never coherently bang her
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
