Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Randomize
