Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
Randomize
