dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
