Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Randomize
