Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
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