My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
