Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
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