when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
