You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
