She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Randomize
