I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
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