I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
