How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
Randomize
