May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Actions speak louder than pants.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
