My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
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