where am i from again
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
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