I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Randomize
