smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
Redeem this text for a blowjob
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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