; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
