why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
