Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
