So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
