im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
It was a blind-side dick pic.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Randomize
