Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
whose ass print is on the piano?
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
