Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
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