'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
