matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
Dude, I just rear-ended a cab
Are you drunk?
A little...yes
Run!
Terrible brother advice.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
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