I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
