I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
