If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
