He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Randomize
