I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Randomize
