The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
