had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
