She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
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