Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
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