Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Randomize
