yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
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