Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Randomize
