Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
i just google imaged poop.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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