sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
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